Yes you are. I tell people this all the time in various ways. You are enough. You are a wonderful mother. You are a very colourful artist (that ones for the kids I care for 😉 ).
Your feelings matter. Your efforts matters. Who you are RIGHT now is worthy and valuable.
We are all enough in every moment. Time changes and fluxes, it moves and flows. In each second we exist, we are enough.
OK OK you are saying…but WHY!? Why am I enough. I don’t feel like it. In fact I feel like shit, I feel like I lack, I don’t feel worthy to be deemed “ENOUGH”.
We all have intrinsic value. We are born being enough. From the moment we are born we are doing exactly what we need to be doing in that stage of life. We are crying ,pooping and causing mayhem for our sleep deprived parents. Totally normal. A few years into life and we are walking, talking and expressing opinions. This causes our parents to start loosing hair and drink lots of wine…totally normal. Can you see the pattern here? We are what we are in every stage of life. There is no need to be more in that moment.
So when is it that we start to forget our worth? When is it that we start to put chains on our spirits?
As a Nanny I see this start to happen at around the age of 7-8 years old. We start to see the labels being stuck to classmates. School yard dynamics begin to become very important them. Expectations from teachers become a bit more demanding. Parents start to ask more of their children around this age, chores and cleaning up messes ect. Bodies are changing. Awareness of media and societal pressures become part of life. How they decide to express themselves and the reactions they get help form their opinions of themselves and the world.
Children give into this pressure because they generally want to please and just be happy. Young adults begin to fight against this and rebel. Then in our 20’s we begin to please again or continue to fight societal expectations. All this contributes to how we view ourselves. This is a lasting image impressed on our psyche of who the world thinks we are. We act or react because we desperately just want to have joy.
Joy is unique to each of us. What brings me joy will not necessarily bring joy to an other.
This does not mean we do not have to follow some sort of societal form. If we all just ran around with out any order there would chaos. I’m not against a little chaos…but we do have to have some sort of law in our lives that attempts to keep people safe and in general happiness.
Where things get sticky is when society says we need to be a certain way. That we need to fit a mould and if we don’t then we are not “normal”.
Beauty standards. Female and Male beauty standards cause a lot of heartache and mental illness. We all look different…this is what makes the world beautiful. Each creation is unique.
Religiosity. Claiming that one certain way to believe in a higher power is the only way has caused a lot of problems. War, anger and abuse have been rampant in this.
Race. The opinion that one type of human being is better then an other is, frankly, a sickness. A sickness in our society that needs to be healed.
Our Talents. We all have different skills and strengths. It makes the world colourful.
Sex and Gender. Sex and Gender is so stuck in tradition that conservative society has a hard time accepting the changes that are happening. Acceptance is slowly growing but the fight for equality here is still on going.
All these flavours and colours of human beings is beautiful. You are beautiful just as you are in this moment.
Now, Does this mean we stay as we are for the rest of our lives? No. life is about creation and manifestation. Growth and striving. Pain and Joy. Acceptance and transformation.
We are enough in each moment means we accept ourselves as is in that moment. We do not whip ourselves with destructive self talk. We accomplish what we can when we can but we keep pushing forward.
So what if you didn’t get the bathroom cleaned today.
Does it really matter if you brushed your hair before taking the kids to school?
You say that person you have a crush on and stuttered when you spoke to them. You might be embarrassed BUT you took courage and spoke.
Crowds bother you…but each day you go out and face the world. You come home exhausted BUT you did what you had to do.
You wanted to write a blog post for your website…but got distracted talking to a friend. What is more important?
And so many other examples of daily life that I can’t put here. The point is…
We all have this programming that kicks in when we try to change how we think or shift our perspective. It kicks in and says…
“WARNING WARNING…this is not how we do things! Your doing it wrong! Time to shut down and reboot back to the way we where.”
The secret is…
don’t listen to this. See it for what it is…pre-programming. You can work to change it. You can rewire this programming into something you want. Into something that brings you joy and peace knowing you are enough.
What you get done is great. There are more important things to worry about. Stretching and pushing ourselves is amazing but be nice to yourself. Acknowledge your efforts, not the the fact that you didn’t do it perfectly.
My wish for you is that you truly can accept that you are enough. That you hold value and are worthy of feeling like a whole beautiful person.
You are enough.