Flowing into Vulnerability



What a fucking scary word!

I’ve been thinking a lot about being vulnerable recently. It makes me think about the Nine of Swords card in the tarot. The anxiety, the fear and terror. This all is intimately connected to being vulnerable. Especially when one has a background of abuse or neglect.

For me being vulnerable is a very hard thing to be. It means I have to continue to let down my walls of “screw you” that pop up to protect me. It has been hard for me but so much a valuable learning experience. I am very thankful for this…but damn those sleepless nights. I plan to keep going though and that is the key.

Even though I’m really feeling the 9 of Swords energy right now…I am also feeling the Ace of Wands energy.

That feeling of passion, creativity and boldness. It is a spark in me that has always been there…and I want to feed it. I want that spark to become a fire, a raging life that is fuelled by being vulnerable and not giving a damn. I want it to be like when I was a child and had not learned to fear yet. What a beautiful gift that spark is. Do you feel it? I hope you do! Grab it…let yourself be infused with that fire!

You see for me, I cloak my vulnerability in detachment.

Let me explain. As an older child I learnt to remove my feelings and place them in a mental box. Hidden away and not felt. To feel was scary and it hurt. If I had emotional reactions I was told to stop and grow up. So to me being an adult meant not feeling, or at least…not showing it. To be vulnerable was a way to pain and further damage.

I have learnt over the years an important truth from all this…

hiding only leads to loneliness and depression. Anxiety over the possibility that one has shared to much of oneself only causes one to be isolated. This is so damaging to a species that thrives on community and connection. It is damaging to us individually and collectively.


The Ace of Wands energy will give us the inspiration and the boldness to be vulnerable in the face of fear. Let us burn away the reservations we have. Throw it to flames and see what the smoke inspires in us.

All the Aces have special gifts for us to utilize in our journey to healthy vulnerability.


The Ace of Pentacles gives a feeling of solidity and safety, like a fully opened root chakra.


The Ace of Cups helps with open expression and release of emotions attached to our fears and protected pieces of ourselves.


The Ace of Swords grants us the ability to see clearly, cut through the shit and get to the meat of the matter at hand.

All the Aces are beautiful Shadow Work partners. Their energies will help us to be more in our bodies, feelings and minds. We must be in touch with our selves to process and allow openness to happen in beautiful healing ways. I highly suggest grabbing an ace and meditating with it. See where your spirit takes you and what wisdom you can glean from your focus on your chosen Ace.

Here is a easy formula to get you started on meditation if you do not already have a practice in place.

1) Get your self a quiet and comfortable place to sit or lay down.

2) Get your chosen card and focus on it for a few minutes. Memorize how it looks and imagine what it’s textures feel like. place yourself in the picture if you like.

3) Close your eyes. allow your mind to relax. don’t worry about clearing your mind and having no thoughts…that is pretty much impossible. Just relax. let the thoughts come and go as they please. Gently Direct your thoughts towards the card you have chosen. pay attention to the feelings and thoughts that come to you. When you feel an important thought or feeling has come to you…explore it. Gently ask it questions like Why, How, Who ect. See where this leads you.

4) Do this for as long as you chose. Please be gentle with yourself. There is no need to force anything. If nothing comes to you the first time let it be. Try again at an other time.

Being vulnerable can feel very overwhelming, but if we love ourselves through the process…we will come out of it with more confidence. We will learn great things about ourselves…more than we imagined. We will see how much we are loved in the world…if only we allow ourselves to be open and expressive with those around us.

My love to you all,



October 2017 Cartoscopes!


Hello Dear Readers! 

I am pleased to give you October’s Cartoscopes. 😀 As with all my Cartoscopes, these are meant to be quick and sweet. My mode of operation is the same with these as with all my readings. I meditate and ask my guides to connect with me so that I may give you what spirit wants you to recieve as a message. 

I hope these little gems of inspiration with help you along your paths for October. May it be a blessed month for you all. 

Much love, 


PS: For those of you who may want to know…The deck I used it The Wheel othe Year Tarot. It was created by Maria Caratti. 

Aries: Princess Of Wands


Fiery Aries. Opening ones heart to the future is paramount this month Aries. The future is indeed bright. Allow yourself to vanquish your fears over what may be and be your fiery self. The pricks and scratches you may receive are worth the effort of saying “Fuck it…I’m doing it.”

Remember…your an Aries…nothing can keep you caged for long.

Taurus: Queen of Swords


Dear Taurus. Beware of cutting your own throat. In your anger or frustration you may lose your sense of logic and common sense. Keep a cool head in the coming month. Look at everything around you with open eyes, without judgement or preconceived ideas. Allow yourself to see they whole picture not just what you want to see.

In doing this you will not cause yourself or others hurt that could otherwise have been avoided.

Gemini: Ace of Chalices


Beautiful Gemini. We sometimes hold on to our unique ways of feeling and expression because of fear. We hold ourselves in a frozen state and feel protected as a result.

Now is the time to thaw. Allow your heart and mind to warm up to the world around you. Let your protections melt and flow away, releasing the chill you have been clinging to. Your personal perception of the world will look so much brighter and vivid as a result.

Cancer: Princess Of Chalices


Dear Cancer. New and exciting feelings are on the horizon. Allow yourself to be open to the newness that is approaching. Now is the time to connect strongly with your guides and have them close. They will be very instrumental in helping you navigate through the new paths these emerging feelings will take you down. Walk with confidence and grace, you got the skills and backup to do so.

Leo: 9 of Swords


Dear Leo. Anxiety is a bitch…it can feel like it is attaching you from all sides. Leo, you are kick ass and can manage this. The anxiety that can feel overwhelming comes from feeling vulnerable. Embrace that vulnerability. Do not harden yourself to protect your heart. Receive the wisdom that comes from feeling and being alive.

Fire signs are so dynamic, we can flare up and then die down very quickly…so those times we rage forth in confidence can feel amazing…and then in the afterglow…we feel the anxiety and fear. That is where one must be concious of not becoming hardened.

Virgo: 7 of Swords


Stay your course Virgo. There are many things in your life that are going to cause a disturbance in your flow. Make sure you are aware of them and take measures to keep them from taking you down the wrong path. You know where you want to go so keep stepping along the cobbles that will get you there.

Libra: 10 Of Pentacles


You have been working very hard lately Libra. It is time to rest and look at all your efforts and the payouts. There are times when we work extremely hard and see very little…but there is always some pay for our efforts. Look for the good in all the hard work. Look for supportive people to talk to if you find yourself feeling down and out. Friends and family can give a lift to your spirits through love and community.

Scorpio: 5 of Swords


Dearest Scorpio. Aggression is the road to sadness. You will come upon times when you want to rage. This is natural. Your vengeful and angry thoughts will swirl and surround you. This to is natural. The key here is to show some control over those thoughts. Lashing out in heated fury is not going to accomplish anything. Showing some mercy and kindness towards those we are clashing with will help with constructive communication. This communication will help further relations and develop understanding. You will find peace and calm when keeping this in mind.

Sagittarius: 2 of Cups


Beautiful Sagittarius. This month is one to watch for misunderstandings between you and the ones you love. Being open with those closest to you is going to be paramount. Keep your lines of communication open, don’t shut down. Express your love and express your feelings about whatever is concerning you. We all go through times where we want to closet ourselves…but that does not help anything. Direct and naked words are needed to find the support/help or reassurance we desire.

Capricorn: 2 of Wands


Dear Capricorn. Growth comes after following our inspirations. Is there something you have been thinking about lately? Take that seed and plant it. Give it the tending it needs. After a little time you will see it begin to grow. You might find that there will be those around you who may poo poo on your efforts…ignore them. Keep those who support you around and ask for their assistance if needed. You will see the rewards of your energies. Keep pushing.

Aquarius: Princess of Swords


Dear Aquarius. What are you searching for? Are you looking for the facts or just what you want to find? Before you go ahead and proclaim your opinions, be sure of what you are saying. Have both eyes open and a clear mind when confronting the issues at hand. Remember words are weapons. The problem with words though? The damage done with them can’t be truly undone.

Pisces: 9 of Wands


Hard working Pisces! Your time is close at hand! all the effort and patience you have put into your projects/family/friends/employment…are going to come to fruition. It is almost time for the harvest. Know that your guides are with you and supporting you. Keep moving and keep working Pisces…the end is near.

I see Hope: The Empress

Today I am extremely happy to be writing about the Empress…She is a lovely loving archetype.

This series of blogs is about how I see hope in the tarot cards. Hope is a beautiful feeling and one of the most powerful emotions we can feel. With the Empress, she represents the central axis of hope. She IS hope itself. The Empress is the Venus…the woman of love and hope. She is very dear to me, this archetype has followed me since childhood and has been a protector. I did not have a name for her then but I knew I could always call on her. 

The Empress is hope in the sense that she brings life. She is the creative force we see in the world. In the depths of winter, it is she who gives the animals the hope of a new spring. When we each have a shitty day, week, month or year…it is that element of hope she plants in our hearts that keeps us going. It drives us to take one more step…even when we don’t see the point of it. 

Hope is the energy that will cause an individual to rise up from their depression. It is a form of self-love. I know that when I am spiraling into a depression or a bout of high anxiety, Hope is what brings me out of it and I am able to function again. Don’t let your hope die, let it be the spark that brings you light when you need it most.

People in romantic relationships can also access hope, to heal the wounds we all inevitably cause each other. Larger groups of individuals can come together and put their hope into a melting pot and use its energies to create change where they see change needs to be made.

Her youthful exuberance entices us to joy and the spreading of our hearts. Giving pieces of our love to all around us. 

One can use her energies for a boost when hope seems hard to hold onto. Below is a tarot spread you can throw to help you in this.

First…find the Empress card in your deck. Place her in the middle of your space. Next, place the four cards you pull around her as shown in the picture below. Meditate on the questions and the corresponding card. Open yourself to any messages being given to you. 😀 

Next, place the four cards you pull around her as shown in the picture below. Meditate on the questions and the corresponding card. Open yourself to any messages being given to you. 😀 

Then meditate on the questions and the corresponding card. Open yourself to any messages being given to you so that hope can be increased in your heart. 😀 

  1. Why has my hope diminished?
  2. How can I love myself into more hope?
  3. What do I need to do to remove the factors that diminish my hope?
  4. What fuel do I need to feed my spark of hope…and create a fire?

Rejection Shadows Spread-4

I wish you all an abundance of hope,


The Day The Grasshopper Visited Me.

grasshopper7Lately, I have been in a tower moment. For those who may not know what this means I’ll elaborate. A tower moment is a time when there is great change or shifts in one’s life. It is the deconstruction of established patterns and set ways of thinking. A lot of the time it feels like one’s walls are falling down around them.


 I am at the stage where my walls have been crumbled and I am left standing…wondering what to do next.

I’ve come to the conclusion that I have two options…

The first being, rebuild my tower with stubbornness and fear. In doing so, go back to the way things were.

I have been quite the wall builder. I loved my walls…they made me safe and cozy…where no one could get to me. I was protected and no one could reach me on a heart level.


Sure, I had a few friends and I “trusted” them…but I had my walls firmly in place. You know…just in case of any catastrophes…like them rejecting me in some manner. Rejection is the most horrid thing in my world.


I can look at my psychological landscape and rebuild in a different manner.

I can look at all the bumps, bruises and scars…and see something of potential. I can look at the ugliness of the past and see the loveliness it can breed. I can survey the landscape and see where I can create beauty.


Number one is not an option really…so I am choosing number two.

I know it will be a long process. This is not one of those times where one cocoons themselves away and comes out a butterfly. This is the time where I have to build the bricks individually. Laying them down with courage and self-love.

How am I going to build these bricks?

With each day and each experience that comes my way. They will be created by the choices I make, not out of fear, but out of the love I have for myself and the vision of the person I have always wanted to be. Choosing freedom for I have been under the thumb of one thing or an other my whole life. Whether it was family or my own self does not matter…I am freeing myself. I know there will be moments when I want to crawl under the rubble. Rejection and fear are bitches…but those bitches are not going to own me anymore.

What is my new tower going to look like?

I have no idea. Really. That is the wonder of it all. I am seriously joyful at this point…because I get to create. I will take the materials of my life right now and mould it until it is what I want to see. I grew up in such a dark place, I want the light to shine. I will make sure there are windows so that I can receive the light that others want to share with me. I will be sure to build doors so that I can welcome positivity. I will also slam it shut when that familiar darkness comes knocking.


Tower card moments in life do not have to be all destruction and sadness. Sure we hurt and kick and scream…but after we are done with our tantrums…we can see the wonder that is opening in front of us. I learnt this piece of truth from a grasshopper that visited me.

During my tower hermiting, I was trying to get my dog out the door for a walk. I was still very much cursing the universe for what I saw as injustices. Then I saw it. A little grasshopper. He some how got himself caught inside the mudroom. I asked him what he was thinking of getting himself lost like that. So I set myself to catching it. As I did…I wondered if this little guy had a message for me. He did.

Grasshoppers do not jump backwards or to the side…they jump forwards at all times. I have read they are very adept at reading sound vibrations. This tells me they are highly sensitive to how they feel. These two facets of the grasshopper told me this..

That it was time to stop going backward and go forwards and to do so bravely. It takes courage to jump as far as the grasshopper does and have faith that one will land safely. I like to also think that their ability to jump so high and far brings them joy and fun. I’ll most definitely be embracing that energy.


To follow my inner voice…my inner being and truth. It has always been there…I am now in a place where I can listen. So I better start and that beginning will bring so much more colour to my life. 

Thank you little grasshopper for visiting me. You have delivered your message loudly. As I rebuild I am going to paint my new tower with so many colors and textures, It is going to be beautiful.

I hope that you will share with me your journeys through life changing moments. How did you come through it and how did these events change you? Please feel free to comment I’d love to hear from you.

Much love,


Rejection Shadows: How To Deal…

Rejection is a feeling I have lived with very intimately over the years. It has been a close companion from childhood so I believe myself to be pretty well versed in it’s personality.

I have had a recent experience where my shadows of rejection came to play quite strongly. Which is what gave me the push to write this. This situation caused me to look deeply at my heart.

I needed to look at why I was feeling a certain way about what had been proposed to me. Why was I feeling scared? Unworthy? Protective of myself? Desperately wanting to put up walls?

I am proud of myself because I allowed myself to talk to those who are important to me. Told them how I was feeling. They reassured me with love and friendship. I worked through my feelings and came out the other side having learnt something about myself.

The fact is I need still need to deal with my shadows connected to rejection. I think we all do. Have you ever not did something or hid a piece of yourself because of fear of being shamed or rejected? If your answer is yes…and I think it is…keep reading.

I want to share with you some of the ways my rejection shadows manifest…

They show up in a feeling of lack…a lack of..

feeling worthy to be who and what I am
confidence in my abilities.
self-love…caring about myself
the ability to accept affection.

These are all quite powerful shadows to fight individually…it can be a blood bath with all four to battle.

In my experience we can’t do battle with all four at once. When I say that…I mean that we we need to pick our daily battles and choose what we are going to work on that day…we can’t do it all everyday. Our brains would turn into soup if we tried.

You can perform self care and maintenance…but to really deal with a deep and intimate shadow, one must take it on individually.

Here are some steps I take when working through an issue that crops up in my life…

I acknowledge the issue.

I do not ignore it. I look at it. I examine it. I ask some questions to investigate it like…

How is this shadow/scar/trauma making me feel right now?

What triggered it?

Where are my thoughts right now?

Can I engage with these emotions and thoughts at this time? No…shelve it for later…
yes, sit down and process the issue.

2) I make a concerted effort to keep myself feeling loved.

This can be extremely hard, but it can be done. Remembering to be gentle and taking small steps in important. We can not expect ourselves to process overnight…and healing takes even longer.

3) I stay brave.

I might be scared, shamed or feeling I lack the intelligence to deal with a particular issue…but I keep going. I do my best not to crawl under a rock when I am called to deal with a shadow that knocks at my psyche. Please don’t feel bad if you hide…I still do that all the time…but I do my damned best not to. There are days we just can’t deal and that is OK…but stand up the next day and say…”I’m going to kick some ass!”

So lets bring this back to rejection…

What is rejection?

It is that feeling of not feeling in, being shunned, not accepted within the group you maybe associated with.

How can rejection make us act?

Rejection can make us act out or react internally in a way that shuts down those around us or ourselves.

Now you might ask…Well how can we work with this knowledge?

When we feel ourselves being triggered or pulled into the feelings of being rejected there are a few things we can do.

First) Staying balanced in our emotions. We can remind ourselves that not everything or everyone is hating/shaming or looking down on us.

Second) See the situation in it’s entirety. We all have a tendency to see from one perspective…ours. Our eyes see things coloured by our experiences and emotions brought on by them. Making an effort to expand our view and see the world from different vantage points will greatly help us to reduce the feelings of rejection.

Third) Endeavour to learn the difference between loving criticism and invasive rejection.

Those of us who struggle with rejection issues can be hyper sensitive to criticism, even when it is given with care and our best interests in mind. We will reject this loving show of support because we are triggered and see it as invasive rejection.

Invasive rejection is where we experience an environment of shame/dismissal and feeling of invisibility. It is an environment we see as permanent and without escape. Those of us with rejection shadows can a lot of the time see the world as this environment…and this follows us everywhere. Especially if one has grown up in a family situation where rejection was an everyday occurrence.

and Forth) Don’t hide. No matter what…grab your courage by the balls. It will be fucking scary…but go forth anyway. When you do this, remind yourself that acceptance from others can be fleeting, acceptance of self brings life. When we accept ourselves we see more acceptance in the world around us.

So my Dears, Lets love ourselves and start accepting ourselves for who we are. Love yourself into being the truly wonderful creature you want to be. You have every right to expand and be who are at your core.

I want to give you this gift, It is a tarot spread to encourage acceptance of self. Please let me know if you try it our and how it worked for you. 😀

Rejection Shadows Spread

I leave you all with my love and acceptance of who you are. May you be blessed with love and immense amounts of life and light.


The Power of I Am.

Welcome to the first annual International Tarot Day Blog Hop!

The card that I was assigned is the Magician. I absolutely adore the Magician for many reasons. To my mind he is such a character of strength, creativity, personal power, confidence and passion.

The words that describe this dynamic archetype are I Am. The statement I AM is the most powerful in the human language. I consider them the most beautiful.

I Am is a vocalization of our belief in ourselves. The confidence we have within. How does this thought make you feel? Excited? Apprehensive?

It used to scare the hell out of me to be honest. I grew up being torn down and these words sought to heal that. For a long time I ran away from this wonderful energy…but I no longer do. I embrace it and am learning so much about myself in the process.

Do you want to feel like a more confident individual? Do you want to manifest more positive change in your life?

You can. We all are able to access that magician within.

Here is an exercise to help you connect with your inner magician.


Take a mirror and place yourself somewhere comfortable. Or just stand in front of a convenient mirror.

Look at yourself. Look at all your uniqueness. Greet your soul by looking into your eyes and seeing what is within.

Speak the words I AM. Say them to yourself and absorb the energy inherent in those words.

If you like you can add to the statement and create some manifestation magic. You can say things like…

I am creative.

I am healing.

I am loved.

I am confident.

Once you do this, examine how you feel. Has this brought you focus? Self compassion?

This exercise is meant to build you up, not tear down. If you feel torn down in anyway, reevaluate the statement you chose to use, or just step back to I AM. You can build up to more in the future.

I was inspired to write a bit of prose to go wth this blog. I hope you will enjoy it and may it bring you a small piece of inspiration.

I speak.

I am,

Birthing reality.

I face darkness.

I am,

Healing scars. Blood releases the pain.

I seek outcomes.

I am,

The master student. Confident yet questioning.

I am built of tinder.

I am,

a flash of ignition that brings passionate action.

I am.

I am.

I am.


May you all blessed!



To see the next blog in this hop… Please visit Goran at 78 Midnight Howls… here is the link!   —–>  78midnighthowls

Rewrite Your Code Tarot Spread

Every single one of us has internal programming. Be it from childhood upbringing or from life experiences. It is hard to not become reactionary instead of responsive to our environments. This is perfectly normal.

The thing is…We don’t have to sit there, shrug our shoulders, and say “Well that is just how I am.”.

We can do something about those reactions and default behaviours we have. If they cause us to feel like we just don’t measure up, increase our anxiety or tell us we can not go beyond what we are in that moment…then this tarot spread is a good one to try out.

We all can rewrite our code, we sometimes need a little advice, wisdom or a nudge to do so…

I hope this spread will bring you what you need to rewrite your code.


1_ Where does this code in my programming come from? 2_ What actions are presenting in me as a result of this programming?3_ what actions can I take to counter this programming? 4_ How c

Eight of Swords from the Wild Unknown Tarot


1_ Where does this code in my programming come from? 2_ What actions are presenting in me as a result of this programming?3_ what actions can I take to counter this programming? 4_ How c

Rewrite Your Code Tarot Spread

General Tarot Card Meditation

This Meditation takes you into your consciously chosen tarot or oracle card. You will enter the world of the card and explore and receive what guidance the universe has to share with you.

This is my personal process for experiencing a tarot or oracle card through meditation. I hope it brings you some insight and enjoyment.

Blessing to you all!



Access Your Joy Connection.

I believe we are all souls wandering blindly just trying to find our way forward.

The endgame of this existence?


Seizing Your Power Spread-31

Find Your Joy! 

No not happiness. Happiness requires a specific thing/environment/situation to create it. Joy does not need a certain set of circumstances to exist.

This was a hard lesson for me to learn. I was never taught joy as a child so this is a skill I have had to learn. Constant focus on what we did not have and how life was a burden is what we were taught. My Mother was always on the hunt for the next quick buck. My Father, he found his diversion in a bottle. I don’t believe either of my parents truly know what happiness or joy is. They carry a lot of anger and sadness within themselves.

It has been a huge struggle to really process what joy is as a result of that environment. To be honest…there are days I still question I if I know what it is.

Joy is a fleeting feeling in our worlds…it is meant to be that way. The belief that joy should be a constant and permanent fixture in our lives is huge misconception that needs to be remedied.

Joy is like the Sun. It comes and goes. It is bright and blinding one day and less so the next. It is There but we do not feel its full effects at all times. I think that if we where to feel joy as a constant we would burn out. I personally see joy as an energy we tap into through our hearts and souls.

So where does joy come from? Or rather, how can we access the energy that is joy?

Gratitude is the key.

Those moments when I have felt true joy are always connected to gratitude. Expressing thankfulness is where we plug into that part of ourselves that is connected to joy energy. When we say thank you, give a smile of appreciation to others we are not only access our joy, we are spreading it. When we can sit down to our personal style of prayer and be truly grateful for our lives and what we have been blessed with, that is accessing the joy plug. Joy can be connected to in small flash like moments as well. For me this happens when I am walking in a natural environment and I absorb the beauty around me. For me, that is joy at its fullest.

Joy is an energy frequency, we just have to discover the right plug to tap it. Each persons connection will be unique to them.

When you are having one of those days where the sun is shining and everything is going right…but its still a shitty day….Plug into joy. Sit your butt down and tell yourself at least 5 things in your life that are amazing. Then go deeper, name five things THAT DAY that are great and good.

I promise you will feel a shift in your thinking. It will painful in the beginning, your rewiring your brain after all, but that pain will subside. You will begin to find it easier to do this exercise as you practice it and implement it consistently.

I am still perfecting the art of Joy…but I think that will be a life long lesson. I spent the first years of my self discovery journey learning that I was lacking this skill and learning how to harness it. Experience has been a hard teacher but an effective one. The lessons I have had to sit with in regards to my way of thinking about the world shattered me and then built be up. It has taught me how to be grateful. It has taught me how to access joy.

I am now at a point where I can identify when I am not embracing Joy. I am able to see where some of my triggers are, those words, actions or environments that pull me into a thankless state of body and mind. I am so grateful for this growth.

May you be blessed with gratitude, 


Motivational Moment: When You Don’t Feel “ENOUGH”.



You Are Enough

Yes you are. I tell people this all the time in various ways. You are enough. You are a wonderful mother. You are a very colourful artist (that ones for the kids I care for 😉 ).

Your feelings matter. Your efforts matters. Who you are RIGHT now is worthy and valuable.

We are all enough in every moment. Time changes and fluxes, it moves and flows. In each second we exist, we are enough.

OK OK you are saying…but WHY!? Why am I enough. I don’t feel like it. In fact I feel like shit, I feel like I lack, I don’t feel worthy to be deemed “ENOUGH”.

We all have intrinsic value. We are born being enough. From the moment we are born we are doing exactly what we need to be doing in that stage of life. We are crying ,pooping and causing mayhem for our sleep deprived parents. Totally normal. A few years into life and we are walking, talking and expressing opinions. This causes our parents to start loosing hair and drink lots of wine…totally normal. Can you see the pattern here? We are what we are in every stage of life. There is no need to be more in that moment.

So when is it that we start to forget our worth? When is it that we start to put chains on our spirits?

As a Nanny I see this start to happen at around the age of 7-8 years old. We start to see the labels being stuck to classmates. School yard dynamics begin to become very important them. Expectations from teachers become a bit more demanding. Parents start to ask more of their children around this age, chores and cleaning up messes ect. Bodies are changing. Awareness of media and societal pressures become part of life. How they decide to express themselves and the reactions they get help form their opinions of themselves and the world.

Children give into this pressure because they generally want to please and just be happy. Young adults begin to fight against this and rebel. Then in our 20’s we begin to please again or continue to fight societal expectations. All this contributes to how we view ourselves. This is a lasting image impressed on our psyche of who the world thinks we are. We act or react because we desperately just want to have joy.

Joy is unique to each of us. What brings me joy will not necessarily bring joy to an other.

This does not mean we do not have to follow some sort of societal form. If we all just ran around with out any order there would chaos. I’m not against a little chaos…but we do have to have some sort of law in our lives that attempts to keep people safe and in general happiness.

Where things get sticky is when society says we need to be a certain way. That we need to fit a mould and if we don’t then we are not “normal”.

For example,

Beauty standards. Female and Male beauty standards cause a lot of heartache and mental illness. We all look different…this is what makes the world beautiful. Each creation is unique.

Religiosity. Claiming that one certain way to believe in a higher power is the only way has caused a lot of problems. War, anger and abuse have been rampant in this.

Race. The opinion that one type of human being is better then an other is, frankly, a sickness. A sickness in our society that needs to be healed.

Our Talents. We all have different skills and strengths. It makes the world colourful.

Sex and Gender. Sex and Gender is so stuck in tradition that conservative society has a hard time accepting the changes that are happening. Acceptance is slowly growing but the fight for equality here is still on going.

All these flavours and colours of human beings is beautiful. You are beautiful just as you are in this moment.

Now, Does this mean we stay as we are for the rest of our lives? No. life is about creation and manifestation. Growth and striving. Pain and Joy. Acceptance and transformation.

We are enough in each moment means we accept ourselves as is in that moment. We do not whip ourselves with destructive self talk. We accomplish what we can when we can but we keep pushing forward.

So what if you didn’t get the bathroom cleaned today.

Does it really matter if you brushed your hair before taking the kids to school?

You say that person you have a crush on and stuttered when you spoke to them. You might be embarrassed BUT you took courage and spoke.

Crowds bother you…but each day you go out and face the world. You come home exhausted BUT you did what you had to do.

You wanted to write a blog post for your website…but got distracted talking to a friend. What is more important?

And so many other examples of daily life that I can’t put here. The point is…

We all have this programming that kicks in when we try to change how we think or shift our perspective. It kicks in and says…

“WARNING WARNING…this is not how we do things! Your doing it wrong! Time to shut down and reboot back to the way we where.”

The secret is…

don’t listen to this. See it for what it is…pre-programming. You can work to change it. You can rewire this programming into something you want. Into something that brings you joy and peace knowing you are enough.

What you get done is great. There are more important things to worry about. Stretching and pushing ourselves is amazing but be nice to yourself. Acknowledge your efforts, not the the fact that you didn’t do it perfectly.

My wish for you is that you truly can accept that you are enough. That you hold value and are worthy of feeling like a whole beautiful person.

You are enough.